Taipei, the city the never sleeps, or eats, or showers, or brushes it's teeth.

Honestly dudes Taipei is filthy, just like kevin....seriously kev get a wash for christs sake. Ok so before I came I messaged a few people in the punk rock scene here. Last night Jeannette and I went out to meet these people......I know what you're thinking and yes I am the best-looking white guy here, but back to these people we meet last night. Jeannette is all like "are you sure you wanna meet up with some people you met on the internet?" and I'm all like, "what's the worst that could happen? besides I can tell that they're nice people from their emoticons." Long story short, I need a bag to pee. HAHAHAHA I kid, I kid because I love, I mean isn't that what life is all about: loving and kidding and loving kids? Any-who, these people we met were actually quite nice; there was a Canadian, an Americian, a Spanish guy and a New Zealand guy. To tell you the truth before last night I was skeptical as to whether or not New Zealand actually exsisted, turns out it does. So we ended up in this crazy side street bar called driftwood. While there we watched these guys play, I have to say they were pretty good. If I had to use one word to describ the show uummm it would be...empty. Yeah thats right there wasn't a soul there, but they put on a good show nonetheless. Following the show we all congregated under some greekish looking structure where we continued to consume mass amounts of beer, and not just any beer Taiwan beer. I later put two and two together and got five so I started over and came up with the right answer........seven, but what I realised was that NOFX are coming here in april and these guys are playing with them, and it turns out that they are looking for another guitarist, and it just so happens that I know how to play guitar. So they invited me to a jam. If all this is true and I'm not making it up, then by May I will have played in a band that opened for NOFX. Well thats all for now I'll fill y'all in on our misadventures in this bowel movement of a city, I'm joking this place is alright..........if your a turd, kidding, kidding.....but seriously this place stinks hard, nah it's pretty good here.

we Love and miss you guys to the max..........phil, sherry all I'm saying is "Barry" he'll get beat up at school, but that will give him a hard tough exterior and a soft gooey sensitive interior, that kind of character makes for great dentists. Just thinking about it thats all I ask.
Miss and love you all.
Chris!!

From Singapore to Taiwan

Word!!
So as you all know it's chinese new year, and it's the year of the pig. Curiously enough while in Singapore, during chinese new year, I sweat and ate like a pig, which people do year round in Singapore apparently, but still no one is as fat as a pig.
The things I've learned about Singapore are as follows: (1) Learning how to spell "Singapore", (2) Singapore money fells like plastic, really thin plastic, (3) It gets really hot and sometimes smelly, especially when there's durian involved (oh yeah durian is this smelly, spikey fruit and it tastes like....like a stinky garlic onion or some kind of stinky testicle....maybe.) (4) chinese people are everywhere, and (B) when you travel to Singapore you are overcome with awe, joy and above all volcanic diarrhea.
Things to get used to in Singapore: (1) the runs, definitely the runs, (2) the food that wrestles with your bowels, just so you know your bowels lose.

well thats it for now
love and miss you folks

Singapore Galore (Part 1)

To everyone, From Chris (and Jeannette),

My first couple of days in Singapore were filled with domestic disruption and artistic ingenuity. Let me explain. Firstly, I arrive in Singapore and it's hot enough to prune the smoothest of testicles. Secondly, I break one of the wheels on my carry-on, this makes it harder to pull, much the same way a limp penis is hard to pull. And C, there are lovely asian women everywhere, including around my arm, that's Jeannette I'm talking about. Anyway, so we get to Jeannette's uncle's house, where he and his wife are going through a lovely divorce. Jeannette and I are exhausted from the switching of hemispheres and what not, so we just want to take a nap, a seven hour one. Keep in mind that it's real hot ok, so I have to nap without a shirt. Jeannette's delightful soon-to-be former aunt comes home with her kids. Immediately they, the kids I mean, run into their room, the one I happen to be sleeping in, only to be horrified by my albino like glare and my ungodly cheast hair, that kid is scarred for the rest of his life. Apparently, Jeannette, her mother and myself were intruding so she calls the police on us, I'm not joking she really called the police to get Jeannette's mom kicked out of the house that her brother invited her to stay. they said that they couldn't kick us out because we are family and she argued with them. the first person the police see in the house, after receiving a call for a domestic dispute, is me, a white guy.

Also, today I spent the whole day doing a photo shoot with a manniquin, really. My new cousin Anthea is a fashion designer and has her own shop here in singapore called Perfect in Black, real posh stuff, sexy too. Anyway, she has a huge opportunity in New York to sell her stuff. She saw some of the photos I had taken and wanted me to take pictures of a manniqiun named Vonda, whom I aptly named....she looked like a Vonda, wearing her dresses. i took like over 100 photos, I really felt like part of the fashion I even got addicted to heroin for a bit.

Finally, I learned a new phrase. Upon consuming curried chicken or spicy tacos and subsequently disposing of the end result, it is customary for one to say, "I've got a hole on me like the japanese flag".....funny stuff!!! love you guys and miss you butt loads.

have fun shoveling jackasses!!! stay tuned for the next instalment of "Singapore Galore"
chris