Singapore Galore (Part 1)

To everyone, From Chris (and Jeannette),

My first couple of days in Singapore were filled with domestic disruption and artistic ingenuity. Let me explain. Firstly, I arrive in Singapore and it's hot enough to prune the smoothest of testicles. Secondly, I break one of the wheels on my carry-on, this makes it harder to pull, much the same way a limp penis is hard to pull. And C, there are lovely asian women everywhere, including around my arm, that's Jeannette I'm talking about. Anyway, so we get to Jeannette's uncle's house, where he and his wife are going through a lovely divorce. Jeannette and I are exhausted from the switching of hemispheres and what not, so we just want to take a nap, a seven hour one. Keep in mind that it's real hot ok, so I have to nap without a shirt. Jeannette's delightful soon-to-be former aunt comes home with her kids. Immediately they, the kids I mean, run into their room, the one I happen to be sleeping in, only to be horrified by my albino like glare and my ungodly cheast hair, that kid is scarred for the rest of his life. Apparently, Jeannette, her mother and myself were intruding so she calls the police on us, I'm not joking she really called the police to get Jeannette's mom kicked out of the house that her brother invited her to stay. they said that they couldn't kick us out because we are family and she argued with them. the first person the police see in the house, after receiving a call for a domestic dispute, is me, a white guy.

Also, today I spent the whole day doing a photo shoot with a manniquin, really. My new cousin Anthea is a fashion designer and has her own shop here in singapore called Perfect in Black, real posh stuff, sexy too. Anyway, she has a huge opportunity in New York to sell her stuff. She saw some of the photos I had taken and wanted me to take pictures of a manniqiun named Vonda, whom I aptly named....she looked like a Vonda, wearing her dresses. i took like over 100 photos, I really felt like part of the fashion I even got addicted to heroin for a bit.

Finally, I learned a new phrase. Upon consuming curried chicken or spicy tacos and subsequently disposing of the end result, it is customary for one to say, "I've got a hole on me like the japanese flag".....funny stuff!!! love you guys and miss you butt loads.

have fun shoveling jackasses!!! stay tuned for the next instalment of "Singapore Galore"
chris